My name is Brede. I’m 35 years old, married, and a father of three. As a child, I was shy and cautious, often bullied in school. Over time, I grew taller than most and, regrettably, became a bully myself—a reflection of the pain I once endured.

By my early adulthood, I had developed numerous bad habits. I played the clown, drank heavily, and carried anger and depression well into my mid-twenties. Looking back, it’s no surprise I ended up that way.

My father taught me many skills—how to build a house, use tools, and fix almost anything. He instilled in me a willingness to try new things, made me a hard worker, and encouraged a spirit of service. But there was a darker side.

He introduced me to drinking at 14, taught me to fight at 12, and drilled into me the need to always “sleep with one eye open.” By 10, I was learning to take care of others, yet by 16, I was his new drinking buddy. Most weekends we spent with him were marked by his drunkenness.

Despite this, I somehow managed to complete my education—just barely. By the end of it, I weighed over 143 kg, drank several nights a week, and ate with reckless abandon. I often cried while watching others achieve what I longed for: a job, a partner, hobbies, and the health to chase their dreams.

It took me over a decade to understand my real problem. My habits controlled my mind, and I blamed others for my struggles. The worst version of myself surfaced when I drank—blackouts and self-destruction were never far behind.

 

It took time, but with the support of my amazing wife—who wasn’t afraid to question some of my behaviors—I began addressing my worst habits. Alcohol still held a place in my life, though. I think I used it as a way to relieve stress and sometimes to escape my reality.

After the birth of my first child, I knew I had to take responsibility and let go of some of my harmful behaviors. Yet, old habits lingered. Whenever friends came over for games, I was always the one drinking the most. At every party, I was the one who blacked out, said embarrassing things, and made poor choices.

It took me 16 years of drinking to realize that I wasn’t enjoying alcohol the way others did. They drank for pleasure; I used it as a crutch.

After the Christmas holidays in 2020, I decided to quit drinking for six months, using a Green Day concert as a motivating goal. During this time, I began noticing incredible changes in my overall well-being: I slept better, felt less stressed, experienced no anxiety, established a solid training routine, and had more productive, enjoyable days at work.

When the concert was eventually canceled, I didn’t feel disappointed. I felt so good that I decided to extend my sobriety to a full year. During this time, I immersed myself in audiobooks, podcasts, and self-improvement books. For the first time, I started feeling like a completely different person—stronger, healthier, and more focused than I had ever been in my twenties.

 

To my surprise, the lessons I found in some of the books mirrored the insights I had already uncovered through my own journey. These books validated my thoughts and feelings, reinforcing the changes I was beginning to embrace.

I made a firm decision: I had to stop drinking, stop blaming my upbringing, and stop comparing myself to others. Instead, I needed to surround myself with people I could learn from, use my time productively, and challenge myself in new ways.

Growing up, I was conditioned to think little of myself, stay in my place, avoid drawing attention, and never complain. Breaking free from that mindset was one of the hardest battles I faced. For me, stepping out of my comfort zone meant going to parties without drinking, participating in local running events, delivering presentations, and trusting my own abilities. It also meant showing people the real me—standing out not by pretending, but by being authentic.

I also decided to make deeper changes. I was fed up with myself and my failure to live up to my own standards.

At this point, our third child was on the way. That was a pivotal moment. I realized I needed to take greater responsibility—not just for my physical health, but for my emotional and mental well-being too. I wanted to be the father I had always wished for as a child, a role model of strength and accountability.

I vowed not to repeat the mistakes of the past. My path forward was clear: take ownership, break the cycle, and create a better future for my family and myself.

 

When I stopped drinking, I felt like I had unlocked superpowers. It suddenly made sense why some people my age were already achieving great things—I had been holding myself back. At first, I felt regret for wasting my potential during those years. But looking back now, I wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything. Despite the bad moments, there were plenty of good ones too. Parties may have had their downsides, but they also gave me some of my best memories and shaped who I am today.

After a year of sobriety, I noticed something remarkable: there was no longer a difference between Mondays and Fridays. I felt 100% every day, and my productivity and motivation grew steadily. For the first time, I was free—free to do what I wanted, when I wanted, without being held back by bad habits or poor choices.

During that period, I worked as an engineer, teacher, and consultant, but none of those roles truly ignited my passion. With my newfound energy and drive, I craved more responsibility and greater challenges.

Remarkably, just 1.5 years after quitting alcohol and establishing a consistent jogging routine, I landed a job as a CEO. Of course, I had years of experience that supported my qualifications, but because I had struggled with self-worth for so long, this achievement felt surreal. I couldn’t believe how far I had come in such a short time.

 

Getting that job opportunity motivated me to aim even higher. I knew I had to become the person I had always dreamed of being. To do that, I set clear mantras and committed to new habits. I wanted to lead by example and show others that transformation is possible with consistency and effort.

For me, this meant sticking to my training routine, shedding the last 20 kg, and finally achieving a healthy BMI. That spring, just before starting my new position, I hit my goal weight. It was a milestone—something I hadn’t achieved since I was about nine years old.

Since then, I’ve focused on staying consistent. Life has thrown its challenges: periods where I’ve gained a few kilos, skipped training due to injuries or other priorities, and faced the unpredictability of life events. But what’s different now, at 35, is that I have the tools and habits to keep myself on track. I don’t need anyone to tell me how to live—I know what works for me.

Today, I feel content and proud of how far I’ve come. I measure success by my own standards, and by those measures, I’ve made it.

As a person, I now see myself as a lifelong student. I’m committed to learning and growing until the day I die. There’s always something new to discover, and that excites me.

 

Through this journey, I discovered my true passion and purpose in life: helping others find their way to a healthier, more fulfilling life. I want to share my experiences with those willing to listen and learn. My mission is to guide people toward understanding why they are the way they are and how they can change.

I firmly believe that lasting change must come from within. If you’re not ready to take responsibility for your actions or if you’re still blaming others for your problems, living in the past, or feeling sorry for yourself, then you’re not ready for real transformation. The truth is, no one can make these tough changes for you. The power to change lies within your own mind.

Building consistent routines and breaking old habits takes time. There are no shortcuts or quick fixes. Start where you are, without pushing too hard or too fast. Shift your perspective from short-term thinking—weeks and months—to a long-term view spanning years or even decades.

Lay a solid foundation with small, manageable changes before trying to build something bigger. Once you’ve established your foundation and developed your own toolkit, you can start building the life you truly want, one step at a time.

 

The Habits

Through small, consistent micro-changes, I was able to build habits that completely transformed my life. These steps allowed me to:

• Establish a workout routine: Starting small, I built a habit that became a cornerstone of my physical and mental well-being.

• Commit to lifelong learning: I embraced the mindset of being a student of life, always seeking to grow and evolve.

• Consume knowledge regularly: I began reading books, listening to audiobooks and podcasts, and surrounding myself with people who were smarter and more experienced than me.

• Reinvent my identity: In a world where competition drives success, I realized I needed to fundamentally change my identity to align with my goals.

• Take responsibility: I stopped blaming others for who I was and took full accountability for my actions—past, present, and future.

Each of these habits built upon the others, creating a foundation for lasting change. They weren’t grand leaps but small, intentional steps forward that compounded over time. This process taught me that transformation doesn’t happen overnight; it’s a journey built on consistency and self-reflection.